Why men turn to online dating
Seems like everyone is dating online these days. Sometimes it’s tough to meet girls where you live and at work.
Like me, you probably get so caught up in your daily routine you swear you end up seeing the same six chicks daily. None of which are fuckable.
If this is you, there’s a chance your access to outside, eligible females is nil-to-none.
For this reason, many men (myself included, on occasion) turn to the dark, digital abyss of online dating.
Before we dive into the list, let’s quickly explore why online dating is so difficult for most men.
Most men give up online dating
In fact, it’s so difficult that 90% of men give up trying within the first few months of not seeing results.
This all comes down the Pareto principle of sexual selection.
Some of the large swipe apps have released studies stating that typically, 80% of women online are competing for the same 20% of men.
You may be asking yourself, “How do I know if I’m in the top 20% online?”
Easy. Are you getting laid regularly in real life? If the answer is no, there’s a good chance you’ll probably be shit out luck online too.
With the added degree of anonymity online, that digital dime-piece you encounter can reject you quicker and easier than ever.
In real life, your strongest asset is your physical presence. Online, you’re just a face in a digitized deck of cards.
Most girls will simply ignore you completely or delete your message before even reading it. That is, if they even take a minute to click on you at all.
So, before you go diving headfirst into the Mariana Trench of online dating, here are 5 quick tips to double your chances of receiving a response by signing up on best online dating sites.
1. Keep it Simple Stupid
Although most best online dating sites will keep a history of your recent visits and visitors, it’s much easier for her to remember you if you have an interesting, memorable and SHORT username.
Using something like “looking4loverightnow” or “bigbootyeater69”? You’ll likely get lost in her massive stack of recent visitors.
This, of course, applies if you’re using traditional profile-style sites.
For simple match-and-smash apps, your first name (real or fake) should suffice.
2. Read before you write
While some online dating advice sites may recommend the ‘shotgun’ approach of contacting as many potential matches as possible, this may not, necessarily, be the best approach.
Instead of contacting as many women as possible with the same lame copy-paste-text, take a quick glance at what she wrote.
This way you can open with something engaging and relevant. Women typically put a lot of stupid shit in their profiles. Whatever uninspired trend they follow is something they take very personal.
Whether you agree and amplify or reply with the classic neg is up to you. A personalized approach should surely make you stand out from the typical “Hey, what’s up?” or “DTF?” messages that flood her inbox.
Note: If you are exceptionally attractive, “DTF?” does work. Again, if women don’t naturally approach you in real life, this likely isn’t you.
With online dating, I’m usually looking for a girl I can actually stand being around without wanting to scrape my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon.
But, for the nights where I need some quick company, I do deploy a douchebag version of my profiles. Complete with fake name, no description, and only ripped, shirtless pics in exotic locations with stylish sunglasses that cover my eyes.
If a chick is down to meet based on your looks alone, you really don’t have to say anything. She’ll do the work for you.
3. Cut the nice guy act
Out of all the dating tips for men, and amongst all of your amazing qualities, self-confidence (even if you have to fake a bit) is pivotal!
Recognize your core value and project this with assurance rather than arrogance.
Don’t resort to self-deprecation. Many guys make the mistake of cutting themselves down in an attempt to be “funny”. It’s not.
Poking fun of yourself is actually quite pathetic. At least that’s what she’ll likely think.
Remember, these girls literally have a phone full of dicks that are offered up every time she gets a new notification. She’ll see through your nice guy facade. She already knows what you want.
Now, done correctly, self-deprecation can potentially communicate a sense of self-awareness and carefree, funny attitude.
If I’m in a joking mood, I like to exaggerate how “humble” I am. Sometimes, to the point of cartoonish absurdity.
But usually, joking at the expense of yourself showcases your insecurities by using “humor” as a not-so-subtle mask.
Identify what makes you awesome and be that guy on a daily basis. Don’t fake it. Actually do what it takes to be that stud you present online.
Do you have areas for improvement? We all do. Identify these weaknesses and begin to work on them.
Start small and scale your goals to become more challenging.
Chances are you will encounter disappointment from time to time. Shake it off. Failure is a fundamental stepping stone to your eventual triumph.
Remember, you can only hide who you are online for so long. Unless you want to have a screen-to-screen relationship only, you need to work on yourself to build attraction both online and in real life.
4. Make your online dating messages short and to the point
Many best online dating sites will give you a maximum number of messages you can send per day.
Even if not, you still have a very small window of time to get her attention and take it offline.
Again, her inbox is literally flooded with offers for dick. You’ll quickly be drowned out if you don’t fight through the noise.
Knowing this, make your messages count.
Many guys make the mistake of writing an essay of qualifications in an attempt to seek approval. This immediately communicates to her that you don’t think you’re good enough for her.
Keep it cool, calm and collected.
Ask a question that has something to do with her profile. Make it cocky, funny, witty or however you feel in that moment.
This shows you paid attention and are asking a question that actually solicits a response.
Think of online dating messaging as a tennis match. By asking a question, you’ve served the ball. Now, it’s up to her to serve it back. If she doesn’t respond, don’t pester her. Either you click or you don’t.
Only put in the effort for someone who wants to engage with you.
Also, don’t waste messages on profiles that are obviously fake or girls you clearly can’t stand.
You have better things to do with your time.
5. Be authentic
Whether we like it or not, we all live in a digital world.
There’s a good chance your real-life “dream girl” is also online.
Construct your internet persona like you’re building a brand.
Don’t falsely represent yourself.
Your virtual persona should be a portrayal of your true self.
Make sure your online personality reflects your most positive traits.
If you have to fabricate elements of who you are, she WILL find out sooner or later. Of course, if you’re looking for some quick fun, do whatever.
But most guys want to spend time with someone they enjoy being around.
Be honest with who you are and only date someone who wants to date a guy like you.
Compatibility is key if you want your online interaction to progress to something more meaningful.
Bringing it all home to double your online dating results
Online dating does not replace sloppy game or low sexual market value.
Unless you do the inner work necessary to attract women, you’re likely to commit the same mistakes online as you do in real life.
If you find yourself having trouble meeting women online, there may be other issues you need to work on first.
Good luck out there and be safe.