Everyone has something to say. They also think that their advice is good advice.
Just because someone has something to say doesn’t mean they have something worth saying.
When you need someone to lend you an ear, who do you turn to? Do you have a solid source of sound advice? Or do you still find yourself astray?
It can be hard to separate the cream from the crap when it comes to seeking advice.
Although well-intentioned, here are some signs that good advice is actually bad advice.
1. Excuses
Why address bad behavior when you can simply excuse it?
Identify excuses with phrases like “what happened was”, “I would’ve if” or I was going to BUT”.
People usually follow up an excuse with attempted explanation, defense of a (wrong) position or justification for their incorrect actions.
You can typically spot excuses in the form of conditional (would’ve, could’ve, should’ve) statements.
“But” statements are the worst. Ok, pal, you had the intent but didn’t follow through. And we’re expected to give you a pat on the back?
F* that noise.
No participation trophies here partner.
It’s completely acceptable to fail. Failure is the key to growth. However, you must absolutely own up to your shortcomings.
How do you expect to succeed if you continue using excuses as a safety barrier?
Want to start appearing stronger?
Eliminate excusing language completely from your vocabulary and see how people respond.
2. Lies
Boy oh boy how people love to lie these days.
Take an inventory in your daily life of how many bullshit lies you can spot in your immediate surroundings…
- Food labeled “delicious” tastes like a hot pile of crap
- “Free” always translates to “more expensive and lower quality”
- That girl who just wants a “nice” guy is banging the jobless losers
If you’re really looking for some salacious lies, go online and seek advice.
- “It’s not your fault”
- “You couldn’t control it”
- “You couldn’t have possibly known”
All covert lies disguised as advice.
This is actually non-advice from people seeking to save face rather than legitimately helping you.
How do you spot these lies? Here’s what to look for:
- Any group of nonsensical words strung together that sound cliché
- Gestures that soothe your ego at the moment
- Lack of an immediate call to action or a long-term game plan
When you do hear a lie, you’ll likely get a followup touching on this next point…
3. Lack of accountability
Any advice that doesn’t hold you accountable is no advice at all.
We see this in modern politics with pandering to parasites on the left:
- “There’s a patriarchy”
- “The white man is holding you down”
- “The government is here to help you”
You are the protagonist of your own story. When you refuse to own up to your own actions you put yourself in a position to fail. The only person who truly cares about you is you.
You’ll likely see this in the form of blame-shifting. Let’s say someone messes up at work. You and your coworkers are stuck looking for a solution.
Who are you more likely to follow? The guy who points a finger at everyone (or everything else) or simply says “my bad, I’ll fix it”?
Blame shifting is the coward’s way of saving face.
The problem is, the problem never actually gets solved. And everyone thinks you’re a passive idiot to boot.
Instead of pointing the finger outward, point it inward.
You are the master of your universe. Responsibility starts with you.
The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have a problem. Or that YOU are the problem.
Cut out the blame-shifting BS.
4. Easy
Growth is painful.
The best lessons in life require sacrifice and are often humiliating.
If a piece of advice promises you the world for no effort, you’d be better off running headfirst into a brick wall.
Many men look for shortcuts in life. “If you do x then y will happen.”
Sounds simple enough. This is not to be confused with simple truths.
- Eat less to lose weight
- Save more to retire more comfortably
- What goes up must come down
I’m not negating simple truths.
However, this type of advice is normally half-assed because it doesn’t lay out the steps involved to achieve stated goals.
Any advice worth following will require action and a time commitment on your part. It’ll probably be uncomfortable. Or downright suck.
If being a millionaire or getting jacked as fuck were so damn easy, then everyone would do it.
Honest advice will address the honest effort involved in shifting habits or changing behaviors.
Once you’ve completed the process, adapt, and integrate new elements into your life is when things appear easy.
Dieting still sucks at first, but do it enough and it becomes way easier with experience. Do it enough and it even becomes fun!
This would be an example of more truthful advice.
5. Free
You get what you pay for here.
There’s a reason sayings exist. And when it comes to bad advice, this one couldn’t be truer.
Now I’m not talking about free advice from a close friend or family member who genuinely cares about your well-being. I’m referring to any sort of problem-solving method you seek that’s already outside of your scope of understanding.
You see click-bait, spammy content scoured across the internet all the time:
- “Zero start-up costs”
- “No money down”
- “Experience not necessary”
These are schemes focused on making money for internet marketers. The focus is not to help you.
Anything of value is going to cost you a premium. Money is a byproduct of value.
If a solution seems completely free, it’s probably not so solid. Nobody is going to give you the recipe to success and expect nothing in return.
Sure, I might deliver some quick tips and whatnot here and there. For more robust solutions, you best believe there’s going to be a price.
So there you have it. Hopefully, you’re now tuned in to spot bad advice and set your sites towards a bright horizon.
